Conversations with God

At every TNT information night they tell you how great training for an endurance event can be. You will get in shape, do something few people in the world accomplish and you will make lasting friendships. Oh.... and raise funds to cure cancer.
Those of us who sign up, do so eagerly. All for different reasons, but the underlying cause is fundraising. We all recognize why we are together. Many of us have been touched by cancer, either personally or having a close relationship with someone who has dealt with this horrible disease.

My reason was to get in shape. I had trained with TNT before in two different sports and felt that this could  inspire me to get off the couch. Every day that I train or convince myself that I should, I realize that its bigger than me. I often think about what kind of role model I am for my daughters. Will I be strong enough? Will I make them proud?
I think about the people who are battling this horrible disease and those that have lost that battle. In the 12 weeks that I have trained for this event, 8 people that I know of, have been diagnosed with some type of cancer. That is unfathomable.
What I didn't anticipate, was what I would do or think about while I was in the pool for an hour or two. Where would my mind go as I rode for 30 miles? I struggled for a long time in keeping focused.
That's when I started talking to God.
I know, doesn't sound much like me, but its true! I wouldn't call it praying, I am not asking for things.... Well not most of the time.  I found that my conversations were about gratitude and peace. I started to crave my time in the pool because that's when quiet enveloped me and I could share my thoughts.
I was and am grateful for the gifts in my life. My family and friends mean so very much to me. I am truly blessed.
In two weeks, I will complete my first triathlon. I am determined that it will not be my last. Through the last few months I have gained far more than one could imagine. A smaller dress size is what I wanted, a new perspective on life is what I got.

Mud Swim

Looking forward to training on Saturday was an understatement. I was so excited to be back with the team after missing two weeks. We pulled up to the beach and the first thought that crossed my mind was, " Wow- this is it? People actually bring their children to swim here?"
Coming from Southern California I suppose I am a bit spoiled. We have beautiful beaches there, with soft warm sand. No thoughts of slicing toes on sharp rocks, that's for sure.
After two attempts to find an entry point, we decide to hike down the beach where the rocks are less suspicious looking. The problem is that one step towards the water and you sink in the mud. The mud comes up to your calves and say good bye to the flip flop that was on your foot.
Our decision... Slide on our bellies out to the water. We looked like giant seals sliding out to the Bay. Once we were in the water, it was training time. Swim to the pier and around it. Yet, the tide was not in our favor. Every 10 strokes put us farther behind than our starting point. We swam for about 30 minutes making no dent in the distance. It was like being in an endless swimming pool.
Once the decision was made to head back to the beach, we moved quickly. The current was with us and
our return speedy.
Getting out of the water, another story. I didn't put my feet down once until the water was 6 inches in depth. There was no way that I would be sinking in the mud. It was bad enough, that our wet suits were covered in the slimy substance. One teammate even had a little sand crab crawl out of her wetsuit. Yuck!
Thank goodness there was a shower. Just enough clean water to remove the mud and prepare for our ride. Which by the way, was beautiful.

Gratitude

There are 41 days left until I compete in my first triathlon in Maui. We are about to start our Peak training. Tougher workouts, double sports days which lead to physical and emotional drains. My nerves are stretched thin as my baby hits the Terrible Twos and I am trying to get one extra run in. I have cried more times in the past two weeks than I have in two years. I cry when my knees hurt, I cry because I'm tired. I cry watching TV shows that stretch the emotion and I cry reading ridiculous cards. No cry is too small.
But as my emotions teeter on the brink, I remember to be grateful.

My Thank Yous:
Thank you to all of my donors... The money goes to a wonderful cause.
Thank you to my team... They have supported me in the cold, the wind and the rain.
Thank you to my Mentor... I love competing with you.
Thank you to my Coaches....They don't have much to work with.
Thank you to Loree.... Your story inspires me.
Thank you to The Children's Place.... They matched my donation.
Thank you to my In-Laws... Without them, Pax and Pyper would be running wild.
Thank you to the Moms... They have run with me, shared their Camping experience and equipment, and cleaned out their garages for me.
Thank you to Mrs. Boloyan... Her Baklava is Amazing.
Thank you to my Parents.... They will be at the Finish line.
Thank you to my girls.... They cheer for me every day.
Thank you to Facebook friends.... I need someone to read my Posts.
Thank you to Levi and Weston and Scotty D.... I love my song.
Thank you to my friends.... Sometimes I need to be carried.
Thank you to my Husband....He pushes me out of bed every Saturday morning to train. I love you.

There are so many reasons to be grateful. So many people to Thank. I am inspired by all that is right with the world. 

Grazie, Gracias, Danke sehr, Arigatou gozaimasu, Xie xie, Merci.

Thoughts

Life is odd or strange; maybe just ironic. Several days ago I read this very sad book about the Rwanda Genocide. Told by a women that had such a strong faith she saw past the hate. Not one day after I finished the book, the announcement had been made that a despised terrorist had fallen. Almost ten years after 9/11. I have witnessed celebration of death and others who are appalled at the celebration. My reaction to the announcement was criticized. I had none. The man was dead, but I know there will always be another. I think my reaction or lack there of was linked to the story I had read so shortly before and the horrors that were told. If I continue the Hate, how do I explain to my children when they ask why I am cheering for someone's death?
I know that forgiveness is a lot to ask. We cannot forget the evil that surrounds us, but I have come to realize I can be thankful for what I have while I have it. I can rejoice in the good that surrounds us as well.