"Welcome to the planet..." sings Switchfoot as I start my morning run, eyes trained on the water. Waves are crashing white foam against the black lava rocks. The giant palm trees sway in the breeze. There is no other place I'd rather be completing my last run before the triathlon. Its a balmy 80 degrees in Maui... only a slight difference from the rainy, shoe soaking 50 degree weather in San Francisco the weekend before.
I am like 80% of runners and listen to music. Often I don't know how to function without it. I tweak the playlist to fit my run or the location I'm in. I had a lot of alternative and rock planned for this particular run. Nothing to fast, not to slow.... Just enough to keep me loose for the race. The first mile and a half went smoothly. I ran around, between and through other pedestrians who were enjoying the Maui sunshine. Smiles and "good mornings" were exchanged.... And then it happened.
You know, that dreadful event that every runner hates. That every runner swears will never happen to them... The Ipod died! It shut off and would not return. No music for me. How would I make it back to the hotel? Sure, I could walk, but that's not the point. I had to finish my run. I had to be sure that I was loose. I panicked. I was in search of any potential comrade in arms who I could talk to in order to make it back.
No such luck. I had to make a go of it. Don't laugh. Running for me is a struggle. I have to use any means necessary to get started and not stop. If my Ipod dies, that is just another excuse not to train. Oops, the Ipod died, I guess I can't run today....
Not today. I took the headphones off and wrapped them around the Ipod. I turned around and headed back for the second half of my run. And then I remembered the absolute beauty of where I was. I watched the birds soar overhead and listened to the sounds of the ocean. Gratitude filled me as I thought how lucky I was to be in such a special place. Not only was I on one of the most beautiful islands in the world, but I was about to accomplish a lifelong goal, surrounded by friends and family who have supported me through this process.
I did finally make it back. I actually ended the run with a pace faster than I began. But I learned my lesson. Be grateful for what you have and enjoy your surroundings. Never take that for granted.... And always charge your Ipod.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Conversations with God
At every TNT information night they tell you how great training for an endurance event can be. You will get in shape, do something few people in the world accomplish and you will make lasting friendships. Oh.... and raise funds to cure cancer.
Those of us who sign up, do so eagerly. All for different reasons, but the underlying cause is fundraising. We all recognize why we are together. Many of us have been touched by cancer, either personally or having a close relationship with someone who has dealt with this horrible disease.
My reason was to get in shape. I had trained with TNT before in two different sports and felt that this could inspire me to get off the couch. Every day that I train or convince myself that I should, I realize that its bigger than me. I often think about what kind of role model I am for my daughters. Will I be strong enough? Will I make them proud?
I think about the people who are battling this horrible disease and those that have lost that battle. In the 12 weeks that I have trained for this event, 8 people that I know of, have been diagnosed with some type of cancer. That is unfathomable.
What I didn't anticipate, was what I would do or think about while I was in the pool for an hour or two. Where would my mind go as I rode for 30 miles? I struggled for a long time in keeping focused.
That's when I started talking to God.
I know, doesn't sound much like me, but its true! I wouldn't call it praying, I am not asking for things.... Well not most of the time. I found that my conversations were about gratitude and peace. I started to crave my time in the pool because that's when quiet enveloped me and I could share my thoughts.
I was and am grateful for the gifts in my life. My family and friends mean so very much to me. I am truly blessed.
In two weeks, I will complete my first triathlon. I am determined that it will not be my last. Through the last few months I have gained far more than one could imagine. A smaller dress size is what I wanted, a new perspective on life is what I got.
Those of us who sign up, do so eagerly. All for different reasons, but the underlying cause is fundraising. We all recognize why we are together. Many of us have been touched by cancer, either personally or having a close relationship with someone who has dealt with this horrible disease.
My reason was to get in shape. I had trained with TNT before in two different sports and felt that this could inspire me to get off the couch. Every day that I train or convince myself that I should, I realize that its bigger than me. I often think about what kind of role model I am for my daughters. Will I be strong enough? Will I make them proud?
I think about the people who are battling this horrible disease and those that have lost that battle. In the 12 weeks that I have trained for this event, 8 people that I know of, have been diagnosed with some type of cancer. That is unfathomable.
What I didn't anticipate, was what I would do or think about while I was in the pool for an hour or two. Where would my mind go as I rode for 30 miles? I struggled for a long time in keeping focused.
That's when I started talking to God.
I know, doesn't sound much like me, but its true! I wouldn't call it praying, I am not asking for things.... Well not most of the time. I found that my conversations were about gratitude and peace. I started to crave my time in the pool because that's when quiet enveloped me and I could share my thoughts.
I was and am grateful for the gifts in my life. My family and friends mean so very much to me. I am truly blessed.
In two weeks, I will complete my first triathlon. I am determined that it will not be my last. Through the last few months I have gained far more than one could imagine. A smaller dress size is what I wanted, a new perspective on life is what I got.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Mud Swim
Coming from Southern California I suppose I am a bit spoiled. We have beautiful beaches there, with soft warm sand. No thoughts of slicing toes on sharp rocks, that's for sure.
After two attempts to find an entry point, we decide to hike down the beach where the rocks are less suspicious looking. The problem is that one step towards the water and you sink in the mud. The mud comes up to your calves and say good bye to the flip flop that was on your foot.
Our decision... Slide on our bellies out to the water. We looked like giant seals sliding out to the Bay. Once we were in the water, it was training time. Swim to the pier and around it. Yet, the tide was not in our favor. Every 10 strokes put us farther behind than our starting point. We swam for about 30 minutes making no dent in the distance. It was like being in an endless swimming pool.
Once the decision was made to head back to the beach, we moved quickly. The current was with us and
our return speedy.
Getting out of the water, another story. I didn't put my feet down once until the water was 6 inches in depth. There was no way that I would be sinking in the mud. It was bad enough, that our wet suits were covered in the slimy substance. One teammate even had a little sand crab crawl out of her wetsuit. Yuck!
Thank goodness there was a shower. Just enough clean water to remove the mud and prepare for our ride. Which by the way, was beautiful.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Gratitude
There are 41 days left until I compete in my first triathlon in Maui. We are about to start our Peak training. Tougher workouts, double sports days which lead to physical and emotional drains. My nerves are stretched thin as my baby hits the Terrible Twos and I am trying to get one extra run in. I have cried more times in the past two weeks than I have in two years. I cry when my knees hurt, I cry because I'm tired. I cry watching TV shows that stretch the emotion and I cry reading ridiculous cards. No cry is too small.
But as my emotions teeter on the brink, I remember to be grateful.
My Thank Yous:
Thank you to all of my donors... The money goes to a wonderful cause.
Thank you to my team... They have supported me in the cold, the wind and the rain.
Thank you to my Mentor... I love competing with you.
Thank you to my Coaches....They don't have much to work with.
Thank you to Loree.... Your story inspires me.
Thank you to The Children's Place.... They matched my donation.
Thank you to my In-Laws... Without them, Pax and Pyper would be running wild.
Thank you to the Moms... They have run with me, shared their Camping experience and equipment, and cleaned out their garages for me.
Thank you to Mrs. Boloyan... Her Baklava is Amazing.
Thank you to my Parents.... They will be at the Finish line.
Thank you to my girls.... They cheer for me every day.
Thank you to Facebook friends.... I need someone to read my Posts.
Thank you to Levi and Weston and Scotty D.... I love my song.
Thank you to my friends.... Sometimes I need to be carried.
Thank you to my Husband....He pushes me out of bed every Saturday morning to train. I love you.
But as my emotions teeter on the brink, I remember to be grateful.
My Thank Yous:
Thank you to all of my donors... The money goes to a wonderful cause.
Thank you to my team... They have supported me in the cold, the wind and the rain.
Thank you to my Mentor... I love competing with you.
Thank you to my Coaches....They don't have much to work with.
Thank you to Loree.... Your story inspires me.
Thank you to The Children's Place.... They matched my donation.
Thank you to my In-Laws... Without them, Pax and Pyper would be running wild.
Thank you to the Moms... They have run with me, shared their Camping experience and equipment, and cleaned out their garages for me.
Thank you to Mrs. Boloyan... Her Baklava is Amazing.
Thank you to my Parents.... They will be at the Finish line.
Thank you to my girls.... They cheer for me every day.
Thank you to Facebook friends.... I need someone to read my Posts.
Thank you to Levi and Weston and Scotty D.... I love my song.
Thank you to my friends.... Sometimes I need to be carried.
Thank you to my Husband....He pushes me out of bed every Saturday morning to train. I love you.
There are so many reasons to be grateful. So many people to Thank. I am inspired by all that is right with the world.
Grazie, Gracias, Danke sehr, Arigatou gozaimasu, Xie xie, Merci.
Thoughts
Life is odd or strange; maybe just ironic. Several days ago I read this very sad book about the Rwanda Genocide. Told by a women that had such a strong faith she saw past the hate. Not one day after I finished the book, the announcement had been made that a despised terrorist had fallen. Almost ten years after 9/11. I have witnessed celebration of death and others who are appalled at the celebration. My reaction to the announcement was criticized. I had none. The man was dead, but I know there will always be another. I think my reaction or lack there of was linked to the story I had read so shortly before and the horrors that were told. If I continue the Hate, how do I explain to my children when they ask why I am cheering for someone's death?
I know that forgiveness is a lot to ask. We cannot forget the evil that surrounds us, but I have come to realize I can be thankful for what I have while I have it. I can rejoice in the good that surrounds us as well.
I know that forgiveness is a lot to ask. We cannot forget the evil that surrounds us, but I have come to realize I can be thankful for what I have while I have it. I can rejoice in the good that surrounds us as well.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Why?
Why is it cold? Why hasn't the rain stopped? Why can't I run faster? Why do my legs hurt so bad? Why did I decide to train for a triathlon? Why do people we love get Cancer? Why, why, why?
This weekend was Training Weekend. Two days of full Olympic distance training for our events. This is the Wildflower course. One of the toughest courses in the tri series. Needless to say, I did not sign up for this triathlon.... I chose Maui. A bit warmer and I get to stay in a hotel. (That's my type of camping) Never the less, I borrowed camping gear from friends. They had more faith in me and my camping skills then I did. They did not let me down. I drove the 4 hours to Lake San Antonio and put my tent up in the cold and wind with the help of my team mates.
Dinner was a feast! Our resident Fireman built our fire; was that kerosene I saw? Too bad we forgot the marshmallows.... It was a great start to the weekend. And then we went to bed....
Bitter cold seeped through my bones. I woke up curled in a tight little ball, so tight that my muscles hurt from tension. Grasping in the darkness, I found the headlamp. Yes, I did get a head lamp. Turning it on, I found my bag that was loaded with long sleeved warmth. I was so prepared it was ridiculous, or so I thought. I put on thermals, long sleeved under armour, a sweatshirt, a hat, soccer socks, running tights, gloves, etc. Anything you could imagine, I had layered on. So excited to warm up, I stepped outside. It was chilly, but I felt toasty now. A quick jaunt to the restroom and I was back in my tent. Bedtime. 20 minutes later I was freezing again. I could not warm up. All I could do was wait for the sun to come up. Or the Iron team to blare the horn at 5:30 am. Yikes!
Good morning rain, good morning cold. Today was the big swim and then bike. We would complete our full 1500 meters of swim and then a 40K bike ride. The first task of the day was to overcome the lack of Starbucks. Not a good thing for us city girls. So fueling up on yogurt and bananas was the next best thing. We loaded our vehicles and headed down to where we would set up transition and get into the water. Wet suits in hand, we begin the process of body-gliding our wrists, ankles and neck lines to help with the friction of the wet suits. One leg at a time, we slide on the suit. More like yank, stretch, hop and pull.
Wet suit on, the trek to the water is dicey. Our first entry into the water was by jumping off the dock. Not a welcome surprise. The water was in the 50's. So chilly that the leaders of the swim suggested we remove any rings in case our fingers shrank from the cold and they fell off. ( The rings that is, although I felt like my fingers and toes were frostbitten.) Head finally in the water, I start to breathe. 1, 2, 3 breathe. That's the cadence I use in the pool. Not so much in the freezing lake. 3 strokes in, flip to my back. The back stroke is a nice option when your freaking out, but don't want to drown. There has to be at least 100 people in the water, all swimming towards the little orange buoy that signals the turn around. I'm thinking I am pretty good. About 50 people in front of me and the other half behind. The middle is good. By the time I returned to the dock and started walking in with the use of a rope they set up I was one of the last. Now, how did that happen?
Out of the water, its time to transition. I am soaking wet, the wetsuit is off and its time to put cycle gear on. I am definitely investing in a tri suit. Again, its cold outside and raining so we add extra layers, the problem is that we are putting warm, dry layers on over wet bathing suits. It doesn't make much sense, I know. 4 layers later and clipped in, its off to our next event.
Obstacles are challenging, Lynch Hill was much more than an obstacle, more like something I will avoid in the future. A .6 mile climb at 17% grade. My legs almost bonked just looking at the hill. Knowing that was the worst hill, once I had climbed it I thought this was going to be a piece of cake. Little did I know the the course is rife with hills and long, slow climbs. We only wore sunglasses to protect us from the pelting rain. There certainly wasn't any sun out.
After the turn around was a very long climb. This is where I started to ask my questions. Why couldn't the rain stop? Why was the girl in front of me singing at the top of her lungs? Why wasn't I walking my bike up the hill? I could stop right now. I didn't have to pedal anymore. But then I started thinking about my girls and how much I missed them. If I pedaled faster I could see them sooner.
Mind wandering seems to happen frequently when you're on a bike, probably so you aren't so focused on the super steep hill right in front of you. I missed my babies, but I wanted to finish strong so that they could be proud of me. I thought how grateful I am that they are strong and healthy. ( Except the lovely rug burn on Paxton's nose. ) I'm not really sure how that happened???.
The last hill is actually down hill. Its Lynch Hill. Nice and easy, just hanging on for dear life! I do not want to be digging gravel out of my back side for hours. The hill is slick and slippery. Not such a safe place for cyclists. The last turn and I'm done.
I'm really done! We are supposed to run the course the next day, but I pack up my gear and promise my coach that I will run 6.2 miles in the morning. I want my own warm bed. Yes, I know.... I am wimpy.
I do run the 6.2 miles and round off the mileage to 8 miles with the help of some great friends who didn't mind me tagging along. Training weekend was tough. Probably more so than I anticipated. But I really walked away ( crawled is more like it) with a sense of accomplishment and a greater understanding of pain. Here's the thing though, my pain is nothing to what a cancer patient goes through. No hill is too steep, no lake too frozen for me if it would take away the physical and emotional pain that someone with cancer experiences.
~Go Team!
This weekend was Training Weekend. Two days of full Olympic distance training for our events. This is the Wildflower course. One of the toughest courses in the tri series. Needless to say, I did not sign up for this triathlon.... I chose Maui. A bit warmer and I get to stay in a hotel. (That's my type of camping) Never the less, I borrowed camping gear from friends. They had more faith in me and my camping skills then I did. They did not let me down. I drove the 4 hours to Lake San Antonio and put my tent up in the cold and wind with the help of my team mates.
Dinner was a feast! Our resident Fireman built our fire; was that kerosene I saw? Too bad we forgot the marshmallows.... It was a great start to the weekend. And then we went to bed....
Bitter cold seeped through my bones. I woke up curled in a tight little ball, so tight that my muscles hurt from tension. Grasping in the darkness, I found the headlamp. Yes, I did get a head lamp. Turning it on, I found my bag that was loaded with long sleeved warmth. I was so prepared it was ridiculous, or so I thought. I put on thermals, long sleeved under armour, a sweatshirt, a hat, soccer socks, running tights, gloves, etc. Anything you could imagine, I had layered on. So excited to warm up, I stepped outside. It was chilly, but I felt toasty now. A quick jaunt to the restroom and I was back in my tent. Bedtime. 20 minutes later I was freezing again. I could not warm up. All I could do was wait for the sun to come up. Or the Iron team to blare the horn at 5:30 am. Yikes!
Good morning rain, good morning cold. Today was the big swim and then bike. We would complete our full 1500 meters of swim and then a 40K bike ride. The first task of the day was to overcome the lack of Starbucks. Not a good thing for us city girls. So fueling up on yogurt and bananas was the next best thing. We loaded our vehicles and headed down to where we would set up transition and get into the water. Wet suits in hand, we begin the process of body-gliding our wrists, ankles and neck lines to help with the friction of the wet suits. One leg at a time, we slide on the suit. More like yank, stretch, hop and pull.
Wet suit on, the trek to the water is dicey. Our first entry into the water was by jumping off the dock. Not a welcome surprise. The water was in the 50's. So chilly that the leaders of the swim suggested we remove any rings in case our fingers shrank from the cold and they fell off. ( The rings that is, although I felt like my fingers and toes were frostbitten.) Head finally in the water, I start to breathe. 1, 2, 3 breathe. That's the cadence I use in the pool. Not so much in the freezing lake. 3 strokes in, flip to my back. The back stroke is a nice option when your freaking out, but don't want to drown. There has to be at least 100 people in the water, all swimming towards the little orange buoy that signals the turn around. I'm thinking I am pretty good. About 50 people in front of me and the other half behind. The middle is good. By the time I returned to the dock and started walking in with the use of a rope they set up I was one of the last. Now, how did that happen?
Out of the water, its time to transition. I am soaking wet, the wetsuit is off and its time to put cycle gear on. I am definitely investing in a tri suit. Again, its cold outside and raining so we add extra layers, the problem is that we are putting warm, dry layers on over wet bathing suits. It doesn't make much sense, I know. 4 layers later and clipped in, its off to our next event.
Obstacles are challenging, Lynch Hill was much more than an obstacle, more like something I will avoid in the future. A .6 mile climb at 17% grade. My legs almost bonked just looking at the hill. Knowing that was the worst hill, once I had climbed it I thought this was going to be a piece of cake. Little did I know the the course is rife with hills and long, slow climbs. We only wore sunglasses to protect us from the pelting rain. There certainly wasn't any sun out.
After the turn around was a very long climb. This is where I started to ask my questions. Why couldn't the rain stop? Why was the girl in front of me singing at the top of her lungs? Why wasn't I walking my bike up the hill? I could stop right now. I didn't have to pedal anymore. But then I started thinking about my girls and how much I missed them. If I pedaled faster I could see them sooner.
Mind wandering seems to happen frequently when you're on a bike, probably so you aren't so focused on the super steep hill right in front of you. I missed my babies, but I wanted to finish strong so that they could be proud of me. I thought how grateful I am that they are strong and healthy. ( Except the lovely rug burn on Paxton's nose. ) I'm not really sure how that happened???.
The last hill is actually down hill. Its Lynch Hill. Nice and easy, just hanging on for dear life! I do not want to be digging gravel out of my back side for hours. The hill is slick and slippery. Not such a safe place for cyclists. The last turn and I'm done.
I'm really done! We are supposed to run the course the next day, but I pack up my gear and promise my coach that I will run 6.2 miles in the morning. I want my own warm bed. Yes, I know.... I am wimpy.
I do run the 6.2 miles and round off the mileage to 8 miles with the help of some great friends who didn't mind me tagging along. Training weekend was tough. Probably more so than I anticipated. But I really walked away ( crawled is more like it) with a sense of accomplishment and a greater understanding of pain. Here's the thing though, my pain is nothing to what a cancer patient goes through. No hill is too steep, no lake too frozen for me if it would take away the physical and emotional pain that someone with cancer experiences.
~Go Team!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Fundraising at its finest!
Beep, beep, beep! The alarm went off at 6 am. Ugh! Roll out of bed, jump in the shower and get ready to merchandise my wares. Today is the day of the Big Garage Sale. All funds going to LLS. My goal was $1000; a little high, I know. My husband.... He thinks we will be good at $300.
Pyper has her table ready- selling brownies and Baklava. The Baklava is amazing! The brownies sell out to all of the kids. Scott puts all the signs up and I am organizing. Oh- and there is organizing to do. We have boys clothes, girls clothes.... Heat lamps, DVDS, strollers, toys and yes...... Bras! Hello- when I asked for donations I was not expecting that. But hey- we sold them and that's what matters. It pays to be a Closer.
The day is long and we are busy. Bartering is not my style, so I struggle when people want to bargain for the goods. We have amazing stuff and people want it for less. I realize we are at a garage sale, but come on! We are raising money to fight Cancer. Most don't care, but there were a few that shared their stories of loved ones who were going through treatment or were survivors. Those people I liked. Everyone else.... I'm glad they helped me to reach our goal.
I am not a pack rat and do not hold on to things for long. After all, they are just things and we are so much more than that. Garage selling is a one time thing. Many people supported me and donated quality items. Others donated baked goods and tables to house the product. I am so grateful for that.
At the end of the day, my house is now clean. We have a pick up scheduled for the Salvation Army and we made our goal. The family is exhausted...... And we are one step closer to curing Cancer.
Pyper has her table ready- selling brownies and Baklava. The Baklava is amazing! The brownies sell out to all of the kids. Scott puts all the signs up and I am organizing. Oh- and there is organizing to do. We have boys clothes, girls clothes.... Heat lamps, DVDS, strollers, toys and yes...... Bras! Hello- when I asked for donations I was not expecting that. But hey- we sold them and that's what matters. It pays to be a Closer.
The day is long and we are busy. Bartering is not my style, so I struggle when people want to bargain for the goods. We have amazing stuff and people want it for less. I realize we are at a garage sale, but come on! We are raising money to fight Cancer. Most don't care, but there were a few that shared their stories of loved ones who were going through treatment or were survivors. Those people I liked. Everyone else.... I'm glad they helped me to reach our goal.
I am not a pack rat and do not hold on to things for long. After all, they are just things and we are so much more than that. Garage selling is a one time thing. Many people supported me and donated quality items. Others donated baked goods and tables to house the product. I am so grateful for that.
At the end of the day, my house is now clean. We have a pick up scheduled for the Salvation Army and we made our goal. The family is exhausted...... And we are one step closer to curing Cancer.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Letter to my daughters
Dear Pyper and Paxton,
Today was a really hard day. I didn't feel like accomplishing much today. I certainly didn't want to work out. After putting you both to bed, I knew that I had to get on the treadmill. I decided that even a mile or two could be walked. But a funny thing happened along the way. Your picture is posted on the wall and you are holding a sign that says "You".
I saw your faces and started to think that you were telling me ,"You will finish this." It sounds crazy, I know. Whatever it was, imagination, motivation or just hallucination, you got me through. I ended up running 4 miles because you believed in me, when I didn't want to believe in myself. I train every day for you. I want to be a strong female role model for you. I want you to be proud.
I love you,
Mama
Today was a really hard day. I didn't feel like accomplishing much today. I certainly didn't want to work out. After putting you both to bed, I knew that I had to get on the treadmill. I decided that even a mile or two could be walked. But a funny thing happened along the way. Your picture is posted on the wall and you are holding a sign that says "You".
I saw your faces and started to think that you were telling me ,"You will finish this." It sounds crazy, I know. Whatever it was, imagination, motivation or just hallucination, you got me through. I ended up running 4 miles because you believed in me, when I didn't want to believe in myself. I train every day for you. I want to be a strong female role model for you. I want you to be proud.
I love you,
Mama
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)